By Ruth Wood
(From the state of Oregon)

Weddings. What a tangle of emotions in the midst of stress, smiles, tears, and joy!

In the days after our youngest son got married, I couldn’t help but also think about the greatest wedding yet to come ~ when we, the bride of Christ, finally celebrate our union with Jesus. So here are some wedding vignettes and spiritual insights gained.

Wedding Vignette: As the big day approached, I was worried. About whom?  Me!
I tend to be absent-minded. Add to that, senior moments here and there.  Because we were also traveling afterward, the list of things to remember was longer than Santa’s list of presents to deliver on Christmas Eve. My brain raced in maxed-out mode. Would I somewhere, somehow forget my dress enroute? I could just see myself arriving, and oops . . . that beautiful midnight blue sequined garment? Nowhere to be found!

I have a nephew who used to travel with a singing group internationally and once left his tuxedo on the train. That night the group had him wear a white hotel towel for the performance with the rest of them in formal wear. He carried it off, providing great hilarity for the audience. But I didn’t want that to be me! Anyway, you can see that my type of forgetfulness is genetic and runs in the family. Needless to say, I remained highly vigilant while traveling!

Spiritual Insight: In a similar way, we do not want to arrive at the entrance of heaven without the proper wedding attire, Christ’s robe of righteousness. Our own raggedy clothes of good works simply would not be appropriate.

As we prepare to attend the greatest wedding of all time, we must be vigilant, like the virgins in the parable who had prepared well and brought enough oil for their lamps to make it through the night. (Matthew 25:1-13) We must keep focused and maintain our relationship with the Lord so that He won’t say to us upon arrival, “I don’t know you.”

Wedding Vignette: Because of the coronavirus surge, my son and his wife asked every guest to take a rapid antigen COVID-19 test the morning of the wedding and to forgo attendance if positive.

Spiritual Insight: It occurred to me that the Lord requires everyone to be “virus free” to attend His celebration too. Only those rinsed clean of the sin virus by the blood of Jesus will be welcomed.

Wedding Vignette: Preparing for weddings is known to be stressful, and the days and hours leading up to the ceremony were intense for me. As it came time for the Mother of the Groom to be led down the aisle, I tried to calm myself down without much success. Then the ceremony began and nothing else mattered but to enjoy the moment. The love and joy on my son’s face and the tears in his eyes made me forget everything else.

Spiritual Insight: What will it be like to attend the wedding feast of the Lamb? Will the trumpets blow, the angels sing, and a grand wedding processional lead us into the presence of our Beloved? Oh, to finally be face to face! To gaze into the eyes of the One who has loved us and known us all along! What will we feel? One thing is for sure, in those glorious moments, all of Earth’s stress will slip away forever.

Wedding Vignette: After the outdoor ceremony, we headed to the ballroom. I knew we were missing a lot of people. There were at least nine of our extended family members down with COVID and five others unable to come for other reasons. Several people from the bride’s family also could not attend.

Everything was ready. The lamps on the tables were lit and music played as the servers brought delicious smelling plates of bourbon flank steak and basil pesto salmon. The atmosphere was so lovely. As I perused the room, it saddened me to see empty tables.

I wondered, “With whom could we share the extra food?” Once I’d seen a story on the internet about a jilted bride who invited the homeless to enjoy the wedding feast with her. Suddenly I understood something about how God feels. About having everything prepared and just so badly wanting to share this joy with everyone. About sadness over those not present.

Spiritual Insight: The Lord has put great effort into preparing a celebration that will literally be out of this world. He has sent out the invitations. “Come, be here with me! Enjoy the wonder of all I have for you!” He does not want any empty places. His heart is reflected in the story Jesus told about a man giving a banquet, “Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full .”(Luke 14:23)

So, my friends…
The heavenly banquet table is set. The food is about to be served. Is your name card at one of the place settings?
​
This is one wedding you absolutely do not want to miss!

 
 
 
                                                                    Matters of the heart
 
                                                                        By Julie Hobschaidt
                                                                 (member of Bethlehem PA church of Christ)
 
"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful."
Colossians 3:12-15 NASB
 
"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." 
Matthew 15:18-19 NASB
---------------------------------------------
 
A grieving mother on the news is tearfully calling on the community to speak out and "stop the violence in the streets".     How exactly do we do that?  Sounds like a reasonable and much needed request. Who could possibly be against that?  Perhaps we have not considered the matters of the heart and overlook the simple truth.   Jesus said in Matt 22:39, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself".  How do we love our neighbor, if our heart is full of evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slander. etc (Matt15:19)
 
Is this an over simplified solution?  Not really.  If I love my neighbor, I won’t murder, slander, or steal from them. 
 
But what is at the very "heart of the matter" is that my heart is filled with the evil thoughts to begin with.  So it’s not the community that is going to make the necessary change.   We as individuals must "put on love which is the perfect bond of unity" (Col. 3:14).    But it can't stop there.    We as parents must teach our children to "put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; (Col 3:12) and model these behaviors ourselves.
"But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."   1 Timothy 1:5 
 
These matters of the heart are the very things needed to help us truly love our neighbor. Only then will the tide begin to turn to "stop the violence" 
 
"Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart." 
1 Peter 1:22 
 
 
 
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." 
Proverbs 4:23 

​3 Ways to Encourage Someone Struggling with Infertility                                By April Motl

 
 
 
Infertility affects at least eight percent of the population1, with some studies claiming it is closer to eighteen percent.2 That means that it is highly likely you or someone you know will deal with this struggle.
 
My husband and I could not conceive for almost a decade. Then we were joyously surprised with our son! We were delighted to be pregnant again a couple of years later, only to lose that baby in a miscarriage that permanently altered my health.
 
Whether you struggle to get pregnant or stay pregnant, the journey is intensely private and public all at the same time. We “collected” (for lack of a better term) a lot of commentary from people along the way. While most of it was a lesson in what not to say to someone struggling with infertility, there were some shining gems that blessed our journey.
 
Those words of encouragement were just like Scripture says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” Proverbs 25:11. Ephesians 4:29 admonishes us to speak only words that will build others up. But sometimes, it can be hard to know just how and what to say to a loved one in need of encouragement.
 
What sort of sweet, golden words can we say to someone struggling with infertility? Here are three ideas to encourage your friend or family member who is on this journey.
 
 
1. Remind them of God’s goodness. 
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; 
Yes, wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14
When you are waiting to see if infertility is a permanent part of your life or just a long season, you can get so fixated on looking for that positive pregnancy answer that you can’t see much of anything else. This particularly applies to being able to experience God’s goodness. When the eyes of your heart are wholly focused on waiting to see His hand open with your long-awaited answer, you can lose sight of His heart.
Pertaining to another long season of waiting, while I was leaking with frustrations over this long wait, a friend told me, “You have SO many good gifts from God right now! Everything is going really wonderfully in your life!” And it was true. I was just waiting for another burden to lift; I was losing touch with how profoundly good God had been to me in so many other areas of my life!
I needed that reminder! And just to make sure I heard it, about a week later, God sent another person to say nearly the exact same set of words!
Waiting can sort of warp our perspective until our view of our life and God’s goodness gets slightly twisted out of shape.

2. Remind them this season of waiting doesn’t define who they are. 
It will no longer be said to you, “ Forsaken,”
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”;
But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”
And your land, “ Married”;
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him, your land will be married. Isaiah 62:4
There are terribly ugly words that hang over our heads and creep into our sense of who we are because of a season in our lives. “Unemployed” hangs over one person’s heart. “Single” over another. For those struggling with infertility, the words “barren” and “infertile” hang around like grey clouds. But unspoken words can also whisper throughout the hallways of the heart, like “Maybe you don’t have kids because you’d be a terrible parent.” Self-doubts of all kinds lean into this infertility pain, compounding the wound.
 
I remember one woman lectured me on how I must have unconfessed sin in my life that was keeping me from getting pregnant. I ran into a few people who held similar beliefs about how God worked. I also listened rather speechlessly as another woman made fun of me in front of a handful of ladies about how I couldn’t get pregnant. 
 
How awful it felt to walk into a room and feel doubly judged - apparently spiritually and physically broken for all to comment on.
 
Yet another woman’s words offered sweet encouragement one day. I was sharing a prayer request about some upcoming life changes. She thought perhaps I was inferring that our long-held prayer request for a baby might be answered. My face fell about a foot, and I told her more details about the far less exciting but still impactful changes that were coming. I felt sheepish and a bit sad to have to say once again to another inquiring person that, no, we weren’t pregnant. I felt like such a broken record! She grabbed my hand and said, “Well! Guess what?! I’m not either!” She smiled and then remarked that God was still on His throne, still good, and life was still blessed. She had some health concerns that made pregnancy too risky for her or a potential baby, so she had also not had children. It was the first time I felt so encouraged by letting someone into that private, long waiting room hallway in my heart.
 
I was becoming so accustomed to people making assertions about my life because of our empty cradle I was starting to allow those things to define me. Her words reminded me that who I was (blessed!) was not dependent on a yes, no, or a wait from God! She also reminded me I wasn’t alone. And that waiting for God didn’t make Him one less bit in control or good. This brings us to the next point!

3. Remind them that the waiting doesn’t have to define their relationships (with God, each other, and their friends/family). 
Why do You hide Your face and forget our affliction and our oppression?
For our soul has sunk down into the dust; Our body cleaves to the earth.
Rise up, help, and redeem us for the sake of Your lovingkindness. Psalm 42:22-26
 
When we really want something and are “stuck” waiting for it, the wait can be so all-consuming that it can creep into the defining role in many of our relationships, but it doesn’t have to be that way!
 
Infertility is a pressure for married couples that can easily take over the joy and closeness God intends for marriage. The wait can leak into defining our relationship with God. We can feel as if the disappointment in the long wait has hidden God from us. It can also press into friendships and relationships with extended family.
 
If you want to encourage a loved one struggling with infertility, be sensitive to their needs to talk, cry, or vent. But love them by not making it a centerpiece of your relationship with them.
 
We were in God’s waiting room with our empty cradle for almost a decade, and in the space of that time, I watched it affect my relationships with those around me. Truly, I don’t think it needed to be that way, and I deeply cherished the friendships with people who didn’t make a giant deal out of it but also allowed me the space to share my heart when I needed to. Some women who had passed the childbearing season without having biological children no longer wanted to be friends when I got pregnant. And before we were pregnant, we watched friends decide they didn’t want to be friends with a couple who didn’t also have kids. It sounds kind of strange for someone to respond to another person that way, but I’ve seen other struggles define relationships that same way, too; relationships that start in addiction recovery or while people wait for employment - all kinds of life circumstances can overreach and define valuable friendships in ways that aren’t necessary.
 
Be the kind of friend/family member that loves the person struggling with infertility apart from their struggle. Love them by helping them remember this facet of life doesn’t define every other relationship either! Their relationship with God and their relationship with their spouse is much bigger than this journey - regardless of how their story culminates. This is a chapter in their life, not the whole story. Be the friend that helps them remember to keep on living and writing the rest of the story!
 
 

             
​                                                          Make Me a Woman of Your Word                                                                  

                                                                       by Rachel Jankovic

I underestimated the word of God. Over the last several years, studying the Bible with other women, I realized I was not alone. Many have had the same experience I have. 

We valued it, we talked about it, we contemplated it, we applied it, and we meant to read it more than we did. The more time I spend in the word, however, and the more time I spend with other women who are in the word, the more God has shown me how lame my estimation of his word really was. I read the Bible like someone standing at an overlook over the Grand Canyon, trying to estimate how much water it could hold: “Up to 23 or 24 cups, I imagine! It’s just so huge and amazing!”

What changed my perspective? I started reading more of the Bible, at a faster pace, with many other women. A group of us began reading the word at a fast (but not furious) pace — about six chapters a day, and thousands of women have joined the challenge. Reading more, faster, and with others has shifted our perspective in some significant ways. We want to become women of the word, not women who dabble in God’s word occasionally.

Needs Met in Unexpected WaysFirst of all, reading larger portions of Scripture at a faster pace shifts our gaze. If we select passages that only appeal to us in the moment, our Bible reading will be (necessarily) self-focused. Our application of the Bible will be self-centered, because we’re so fixated on our hearts, our desires, our feelings. It’s easy to treat the word like a vending machine for particular kinds of encouragement rather than letting the word shape and change us. When we commit to reading the whole Bible, many of our days will be unexpectedly shaped by Old Testament battles, prophetic visions, architectural details, and stories of tender mercy. Our gaze is now settled on our God, on his story, on his plans. The word takes our eyes off of our emotions and our days, and lifts them up to high hills and the things of God.   If we read more of the Bible alongside other women, it also inspires more conversation about God and his word. When something jumps out in the text, and we mention it to someone who has been reading the same text, we experience a lovely (and unusual) blessing. I remember a flurry of conversations from last fall over the beauty of David asking God to spare the people from punishment for his sin and to let it fall instead on him and his household. 
“We want to become women of the word, not women who dabble in God’s word occasionally.”
David has sinned grievously by taking a census (2 Samuel 24:1–2), and deserved the judgment of God. It was the only time I could remember someone in Scripture asking for the wrath of God to be poured out on him (2 Samuel 24:17). And the angel stopped the plague (2 Samuel 24:16). Despite what he had done, David was a man after God’s own heart. And not only was God’s wrath over this sin averted, but his wrath over all sin was eventually poured out on David’s household. Christ himself was born into David’s family to die for God’s people — the Son of God, the Son of David.
I don’t think anyone would have looked at a group of busy women — carpooling, shopping for groceries, working, running out to lunch, overwhelmed with various responsibilities — and thought, You know what will really bless these women today? The plague God brought on Israel because of David’s census. Let’s get them all to see Jesus in 2 Samuel 24, and find encouragement for their busy afternoon there. And yet that is what God did.

Living and Active in ExperienceWhen our gaze shifts this way, we begin seeing our life through the lens of the glorious story God is telling. Often, we read something that does not seem to connect with us at that moment, so we simply read it and move on. Later, sometimes weeks later, it comes burning to the front of our minds with relevance. Now we know why God had us read about complaining in the wilderness last week. Now we know why he wanted us shaped by laments in the Psalms. Now we realize he was strengthening us with some real hope that we barely even noticed while we read. The more the word connects directly to our lives, the more we see how living and active it is. The more we see our friends strengthened in the Lord for their everyday responsibilities and burdens, the more we see the wonder in what God has given us in his word — not because we affirm a confession that says the word is invaluable, but because we know its preciousness from personal experience.  We have felt it piercing to joint and marrow, encouraging, convicting, and strengthening our souls (Hebrews 4:12). We have seen the tender hand of our God in what we have read, and how that word has equipped us for every good work (2 Timothy 3:17). We know firsthand that this word from God revives the soul, makes wise the simple, rejoices the heart, enlightens the eyes, and rewards the faithful hearer (Psalm 19:7–11).

God’s Great Portrait of GodReading more Bible also has the effect of strengthening our spiritual immune systems. When someone offers us an untruth, we know! Many women I have been reading with, for instance, have come face to face with a Jesus they do not feel like they know. “The Bible is a sketch of God made by the hand of God.” Our discussions have sounded eerily similar to the mob that followed Jesus around in the Gospels. “Did he really just say that?” “That was rude!” “How could he talk like this?” “Why can’t I understand his parables?” How could a Christian not recognize Christ? It happens when we have not been listening to how he reveals himself to us, depending instead on others to tell us who our God is, what he cares about, what he is like, and what all of that means for us. 
The Bible you have on your shelf is not some kind of police sketch made by some observer off in the distance. The Bible is how God himself has chosen to reveal himself to us. It is a sketch of God made by the hand of God. This well is beyond any of our capacities to drink in fully. God must grow our ability to see him while we read, and continually make us new with what we read. He must, by his word, renew our minds, enlarge our hearts, strengthen our faith, and equip his saints.

Women of the WordWhen we faithfully read the word, not dabbling about but really reading it all, it will change us. We’ll be changed in the laws, and in the prophets. We’ll be changed in the mercies, and in the judgments. We’ll be changed by the passages that don’t sit right with us at first, and by those that immediately make our hearts glad. If God has given us this incredible gift, and we stand every day on the edge of its vastness, why do we so often try to talk each other into smaller and smaller portions? Why do we stick to the passages that look good on a mountainy background? Does the size of this canyon make you sick? some ask. Try the verse of the day! That is enough! Meditate on one word, maybe ‘forgiveness,’ or ‘compassion!’ Listen to a praise song! We settle for less because we are afraid of what this canyon’s vastness says about us. It shows us our littleness in making God bigger, our brokenness in making us whole, and our weakness in making us strong. 

When the size of the canyon makes you feel like you aren’t enough, the answer is not to run away, but to throw yourself into it with a prayer: 

​Lord, make me more like you. Let me understand more of you. Show me my weakness that I might hold on to your strength. Lord, make me into a woman of your word, and in doing so make me part of your glorious kingdom work here on earth. Equip me to see more of you every day until I am in your presence.

 
 
 




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

                             Destroy her with discontent which is Satan’s aim for every woman 
                                                                
                                                   By Rebekah Merkle   of Moscow Idaho
 
My dear Lilith,
It’s lovely to hear from you, darling! I’m very glad you wrote to me. Screwtape, poor thing,
does his best — but he doesn’t understand the feminine perspective. Of course, that doesn’t
stop him from acting as if he knows everything, and if I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times. I’m persuaded that we will fare much more comfortably if we keep this just between us girls. 

My understanding is that you have been assigned several perplexing cases to handle simultaneously. You must be exhausted. Those ridiculous secretaries at headquarters haven’t the least notion of how to manage job assignments, and I have no idea how they came to be allowed to run anything. 

I’m writing to you today to discuss discontent. Now it doesn’t matter what particular topic the discontent fastens to. Just look for any little nook or cranny in their souls where you can insert the seeds of discontent, making sure that they take root. With some women, it may be best to plant the seeds of discontent somewhere around the topic of their looks: their face, their weight, their figure. 

If, in the off chance, that doesn’t seem to take, latch onto the topic of relationships. Discontent with the husband, discontent with the lack of a husband, discontent with the children, discontent with the lack of children — the seeds of discontent can grow in any kind of soil, which is what makes it so effective. It can really be anything: missed opportunities, wrongs done to them in their past, failed ambitions. All of these are good options for where to start.

The first step with each of your girls is to find just a cozy little something to make them unhappy — and then tend it. Tending it means that you need to keep them concentrated on the thing itself, while keeping them from noticing the state of their own soul. Keep them looking at their husband’s failings (“he just doesn’t seem to even care about my needs”) and not their own heart. Keep them looking “in the mirror,” if you will. 

Obviously, this means you need to keep them away from the Enemy’s book. If it happens that you can’t keep them from the book completely, you can effectively turn it to your advantage by simply making sure to keep all their thoughts focused on how their husband isn’t living up to the instructions the book contains. That can serve your purpose very well. 

And it’s not at all a bad thing if you can get them to talk about their discontent with their friends — provided, of course, that they are the right friends. You want to encourage friendships that will feed and pet the discontent, rather than uproot it. Even prayer groups and mentorships are fabulous places for this to happen, if you manage it correctly.

Once you have the discontent well established and flourishing, you have a perfectly easy job ahead of you. You can take discontent any number of directions, and it only requires a little bit of creativity. Think of discontent as a small spark. You just need to get it planted into a welcoming little pile of shavings somewhere, and soon enough it spreads.

Let’s say you get one of your subjects solidly discontent with the state of her marriage. It will take little effort on your part to direct her attention to other marriages that seem better than hers. From there, you can easily fan that into full-blown envy of her friend or sister. And if you can’t turn that into a ruined friendship, then I wash my hands of you. Lies, backbiting, cheating, refusals to forgive, all are easily attainable once you have the discontent well established. 

One of my favorite places to go, however, is bitterness. It’s so deliciously long-term, and it’s very gratifying to watch a subject get more and more shriveled with it. It lacks the spectacular showiness of adultery, of course, but it’s often more rewarding in the long run. If you overplay your hand and steer your subject into something obvious like adultery, then it’s all too easy for them to suddenly repent — and then all your hard work is undone. But bitterness achieves all the same results, but far more dependably.

Make her discontent, convince her that she’s not worth anything, and then drive her into all kinds of self-destructive tendencies. Enslave her to beauty, leaving her discontent to hold the whip that makes her run. And if you can drive her into a profound self-absorption and pride, then you will be able to sit back and feel satisfied with your work. The irony is that the silly women never seem to notice that whether they obsess over their own beauty or intentionally harm themselves, it’s all the same to us. We win either way.

​As always, give my love to that old busybody Screwtape.
Your affectionate auntie,
Duessa
 

         By  Kimberly M. Chastain
 
 
 
I have received many heartfelt emails from women asking me, “Where in the Bible does it say,
a woman cannot work outside the home?” Another comment, where are scriptural articles that
do not condemn? I often quickly reply the Bible does not say a woman cannot work outside the home. Many of the women in the Bible were leaders among women and men. Deborah was basically a military commander.

Let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman. This woman is often held up as the prime example of
a Godly woman. Here is a list of the many tasks the Proverbs 31 women completes:
Selects wool and flax and works with eager hands
She brings her food from afar
She gets up while it is dark and provides food for her families and servant girls
Buys a field and out of earnings plants a vineyard
Arms are strong for tasks
Her trading is profitable; lamp does not go out at night
Grasps the spindle with her fingers
Opens her arms to the poor and needy
Keeps children clothed
Makes bedding
Makes clothes for herself
Makes linen garments and sells them
Faithful instruction is on her tongue
Watches over affairs of the household
When I look at all this woman did, frankly I get exhausted. This woman is definitely a working Mom. She is an administrator, overseeing her servants. She is selling goods she has made herself and the scripture says she is profitable.

Also, she buys a field out of her own earnings. Thus, this woman is making money in order to purchase the field. One verse I think we all can relate to is the phrase, “her lamp does not go out at night”. Certainly, we all have stayed up late trying to complete various projects.
Let me make another observation as well. This woman’s work was outside of the home. From the description in this chapter it infers that her work is often at the front gates or in another field. So, she often had to leave home in order to work. I would imagine she took her children with her to work or maybe she and another woman watched each other’s children. I think that is hard to know for sure.

There were women in the Bible who were successful businesswomen. Remember, Lydia in the New Testament, she was a seller of purple cloth. One commentary I read said she had considerable wealth, because she was able to give a home to Paul and his companions. Now, I don’t know if Lydia had children or not, but she obviously was a successful businesswoman.
Many women in the Old and New Testament were very good at managing their homes. Women in the Old Testament would keep the home fires burning while their husband was off to war. Women even in the Bible were multi-tasking and had many roles to fill. Also, probably most of them were teaching their children as well. So, we could say some women in the Bible were Working Moms and home schooling as well. You think we have it tough!!!

When you look at the Proverbs 31 woman see what the writer has to say about her. Proverbs 31:28-31, “Her children arise and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” The woman was praised for all her roles, not just mother or wife, but her role as a worker as well.

There are several verses that are often used to say women cannot work outside the home. The first is 1 Timothy 5:14, “So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.” The part of the verse used is to manage their home. Ask any CWM if they are managing their home. They will tell you all the many things they manage. You can manage your home whether you stay at home or not. You can also delegate specific tasks, i.e. childcare, etc. This verse does not specify how to manage your home, just that it is managed. The second verse that is often used to say women cannot work outside the home is Titus 2:4-5, “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” The part of the verse that is used to encourage women to stay at home is to be busy at home. Moms whether they work outside the home or not are busy at home. Also, women who work outside the home can still be submissive to their husbands. I also see the busy at home relating back to the Timothy verse about managing the home. Ultimately, it is the women’s responsibility to manage the workings of the home. Does that mean she has to do everything in the home? No. It is her responsibility to manage the home and delegate chores to people in the home or people that work for her. Look again at the Proverbs 31 women she had servants that she managed. I imagine those servants were doing chores for the home.
Sister Christian Working Moms I cannot find any verse in the Bible that says a woman cannot work outside the home. If you can find one, please let me know.

The idea of a mother not working outside the home is a relatively new concept. Actually, it is considered a luxury in most parts of the world. Often women in the history of the United States have worked outside the home. During World War II many Moms were working outside the home. So, the idea that generations of children are being harmed my mothers working outside the home, is just not true. Moms have been working very hard at home and outside the home for many years and centuries, for that matter.

Please do not here me criticize stay at home Moms. There has been so much hurt on both sides of the working Mom battle. In fact, I think Satan has used this issue to divide women in the church. If you will carefully read the Bible God worked in many people’s lives in many different ways. We see Deborah as a military commander, Lydia – a seller of purple cloth, Ruth and Naomi as widows, Esther – a rescuer of the Jewish nation and the list goes on. I think each family has to make a choice for themselves as what is best for them with direction from God. There is not a Biblical mandate to stay at home or work. Sometimes there is no choice and women must work outside the home and they should not be made to feel guilty for helping support their families. The Bible’s message is timeless and covers all cultures. So, I think it would be wrong to tell a Mom with children starving in a third world country that she should not work outside the home and find food for her child. You may think that argument is ridiculous, but if no Mom should work outside the home then that should apply to all Moms. Closely related to this point is the millions of single Christian Working Moms who are working to support their children and do not receive child support. Are they not to work outside the home? Each family has to make the choice that is best for them and one size does not fit all. If a family chooses to make the choice for a Mom to work outside the home they should take comfort in the knowledge that the Bible does not say a Mom cannot work outside the home.
In conclusion, you may all  know deep down that scripture does not prevent a Mom from working outside the home. Yet, how do you handle the pressure from people at church or others who “make” you feel guilty. Ultimately, all Christians are to serve God and not man. I would challenge you to ask people to show you the Bible verses that say you cannot work outside the home. The Bible is where we get our answers from and our guidance. Secondly, I would encourage you to pray about your decision and ask for clear direction and peace for your decision. Third, once you have made your decision do not spend time worrying and fretting about your decision. We are told to cast all our anxiety on Him for he cares for us. Give your worry to God and leave it there. Fourthly, a caution to men as well as women our priorities always have to be in order. God is first, family second, and then work is much farther down the priority list. No one should put their career ahead of God. In 1 Timothy he talked about managing the home. We all need to keep our priorities straight.

My ultimate prayer is women whether working or not would come together and agree we all want to raise Godly children who worship and glorify our God. That is something we can agree on whether we stay at home or work outside the home. God wants us to come together as sisters in Christ to teach our children to be worshippers of God. The ground is level at the cross and there is not a separate section for working Moms and stay at home Moms. God loves us all the same. Please hear that last point, God loves us all the same. I had one Christian Working Mom write me to say sometimes it just feels that God loves the stay at home Moms more. I heard her painful comment and wept when I read it. God loves you dear sister and what he wants most is for all of us to glorify him in everything we do, whether we work outside the home or not.

 
 
After giving thanks to my God for allowing me to see another day, one of the first things I do is turn on the news.  My reason for doing this is to hear the weather forecast for the day.  Although the forecast seems favorable for the day, I still open the door & peek my head outside to get an idea what I should wear for the day.  I know I am not alone in my morning routine, but it had me thinking, “How often do we check our temperature in service to God?”  Are we hot?  Are we cold?  Are we warm?  Are we cool?  Are we on fire for the Lord?  OR have our souls grown cold with apathy & freezing indifference?
 
In Christ’s words to the Ephesian Christians in Revelation 3:16, it appears that God does take notice of our spiritual temperature in His service.  “Be not deceived!  God is not mocked” (Galatians 6:7).  God knows where we always stand with Him.  Are we enthusiastic about the Father’s business?  OR have we become frustrated & stagnated in the work of saving souls?  The LORD expects us to choose activity that leads to productivity.  So, what are we to do to affect change in ourselves, which will ultimately bring change in the body of Christ?
 

1. Matthew 28:19-20 – Teach Others.  As women, we have a noble responsibility in caring for the needs of our loved one & others in the local church, as well as in the community.  What better way to show we care than the concern for a person’s soul?  When speaking with family, let us make sure our speech is saturated with holy things, “God is good,” “Thank you Lord,” “I will pray for you,” quote Scripture, & do not shy away in giving God glory for all He has done.  When communicating with brethren, let us make sure our speech is seasoned with salt, “Where is that in the Bible?” “Well, you know what the Lord says about that…,” & “Sister, do you mind if I show you something in the Bible?”  When talking to people in the community, let us make salvation a priority, “I would like to invite you to services,” “Have you ever read the Bible?  If so, what do you think?” & “Would you like to get together & study the Scriptures?”  We should never waste an opportunity to tell others about Christ & Him crucified (1 Corinthians 2:2).

 

1. Titus 2:3-5 – Mentor Younger Women.  If we are older women, we have a moral duty to teach younger women.  Reverent behavior is teachable.  Avoiding slander is teachable.  How to be a good wife & mother are teachable.  Living righteously is what reveals the credibility of the gospel.  The oppositive is also true.  Calling ourselves Christians, but not living Christ-like causes the word of God to be reviled by the world.

 
And what more shall I say?  For time would fail me to tell the work of hospitality (1 Peter 4:9), generosity to the poor (Proverbs 19:17), & doing good to orphans & widows (James 1:27).  There is no shortage of opportunities to do God’s will.  God has equipped us with His word & ability to be effective in our service to Him.  Remember, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).