Love Your Brothers in Christ                                
                  A Guide for Single Women By Tilly Dillehay
 
 
I remember the first time someone flirted with me. 
I
was fourteen or so, out with a male-female group for the first time. I was rather loudly telling a story to my sister when a teenage boy suddenly put up his pointer finger. “Shhh,” he said. “You’re too pretty to talk.” Insulting, but to a young teen girl, oddly flattering. It was memorable — the first time my whole brain was flooded with the addictive substance that is the male gaze. I wish I could say that I soon grew and matured into sobriety, leaving the cheap thrill behind in my journey to adulthood. But I went to college when I was sixteen years old; my fleshly appetite for attention only grew as it was fed. And when I became a Christian in my early twenties, the old habits of interaction with the opposite sex died hard.

For a time, the only thing I knew to do was to avoid single men. If I ever encountered one who seemed “legit” — a respectable, hardworking, marriageable man with a job and a commitment to the church — I would be very rude to him. I suppose I didn’t want to seem eager. You may wonder how I could maintain such widespread impoliteness, but it was easy. There was only one single man in our church at that time. Reader, I married him.   I’m actually serious about that last part. God was very kind to arrange a marriage between myself and the awkward young preacher  intern at my church. A dozen years later, I am often overwhelmed with gratitude at the Lord’s kindness in protecting me from worse than the muck I waded through in my early life, largely shielding me from greater consequences of my foolishness about men. I have to admit that part of the means God used to protect me was to marry me off to a godly man early in my sanctification journey. It was better to marry than to burn.
Restraint, Modesty, Dignity, RespectWe have three daughters and one son now. As so many parents can tell you, much of my advice for my children about relating to the opposite sex begins with “Don’t do what I did.” But in advising my daughters and other single gals on how to relate to single men, four major principles come to mind.
1. Show restraint in your daydreams.I wasted so many moments (from my young teens onward) thinking about romance. I understand that this is normal — young girls dreaming of weddings, meet-cutes, that one brown-haired boy in the youth group. But oh, if only I could prevent the total takeover of the daydream from stealing my daughters’ productivity in their single years!
I strongly recommend disciplining your daydreams. If you can’t control the rabbit trails of fancy when you are young, if you let your brain wander down any pleasurable road, you leave yourself soft, undisciplined, and open to sin. Like a young man given over to lust and pornography, a young woman lounging on rom-com pillows and serially indulging in crushes leaves herself unwilling and unable to fight the good fight of godliness with contentment. Although her daydreams may not be inherently impure and defiling to the imagination, she is pacifying herself with fantasy instead of choosing to strengthen her spiritual, mental, and emotional muscles for life in the real world.
The daydream is a kind of drug, even if a very mild one. It renders you less sensitive to the pleasures of knowing God himself (Psalm 16:11). And, like any neutral appetite for something innocent (such as food, screens, or sleep), it can either be mastered and made to serve God and health and all good things, or it can be allowed to take over a life and rule it.
2. Show modesty in your behavior.Loud, boisterous joking that makes you the life of the party often feels fun. Dressing and speaking in a way that attracts attention can be gratifying. Making pointed eye contact with a stranger may boost the ego. But these are cheap thrills. This kind of pleasure distracts you from developing your skills in ordinary relational work, such as resolving conflict, listening, and interceding for others in prayer.  “Your personality needs to give way to wisdom, not the other way around.”
The other reason this pleasure is cheap is that it steals value from your reputation. I’m not saying you should kill your personality in order to adopt another arbitrary one. Some of us are jolly people. Some of us are quiet and contemplative. There is room for the virtue of modesty within the range of God-given personalities. But your personality needs to give way to wisdom, not the other way around. All personalities must be strained through the sieve of Scripture.
While modest behavior can be hard to define, you can imagine behavior that would give you pause if you saw it in a mature Christian lady: A woman who is constantly drawn to the young men in a group, laughing and talking loudly. A woman who always finds a way to give a topic a flirtatious edge or to bring a conversation back around to herself. A woman who gossips about others who are not present. A woman who is open to a lot of casual texting, calling, or online interaction with any man who reaches out. A woman who dresses in a way that is sexually suggestive or demands attention.
Her reputation may not appear damaged in the moment, but over time these kinds of behaviors will damage her reputation among people of sense. A Christian man pursuing a godly life with a godly wife will log this information in his head. He knows the difference between this kind of woman and “women [who] adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control . . . with what is proper for women who profess godliness — with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9–10).
Proverbs warns that charm is deceitful and beauty is vain (Proverbs 31:30). There is clearly a type of feminine charm that is lovely, deep, slow, and lasting. There is another kind that is loud, self-indulgent, and short-lived. A farsighted woman understands that although practicing modesty around single men may feel like it slows down the momentum of “attracting a mate,” it is a far better way.

3. Show dignity in communicating expectations.As one made in the image of God, you already have dignity as a woman (Genesis 1:27). When you operate from this awareness, you will not allow your time and attention to be commandeered by any young man who wanders into your life.  For many single women, fear of remaining single is very real. But don’t let a desperate desire to be married drive you to put up with immature behavior, lazy pursuit, or even sexual advances from men. And if you accept the premise that you’re in a race against time (or worse, against other women) to get a man, you may yourself behave in unseemly ways in order to stand out from the crowd.  So while a woman’s dignity is God-given, it can be obscured by immature behavior and treatment. And it can be cultivated in small acts of self-control and relational practice. When you behave in ways that demonstrate your imago-Dei dignity — fighting your fleshly passions, taking initiative in love and service, expecting respectful and dignified treatment from men you know — you make a statement about God’s intentions in creating you.
It’s true that a woman derives a lot of her sense of dignity through her close relationships: Our parents love us, and we absorb dignity from this. Our girlfriends have character, and we absorb dignity from this. Our husbands are godly and faithful to us, and we absorb dignity from this. There’s no question that the heart-cry of a woman is to love and be loved, and that outside of this knowledge, her sense of dignity is hard to generate from scratch.
Here I would just urge a single woman, particularly one separated from her family, to focus on intimacy with her heavenly Father and then to throw herself into the circles of her church. Offer to cook for families, at their home or yours. Host friends. Push through conflict, confess sin to others, meet with older women in the Lord, and faithfully attend church meetings. I know it’s hard. I know that there is a loneliness that can be felt in the bones. But a woman’s dignity can be carried and strengthened through single years, and God has much to teach you if you will lean into obedience while being honest with him about the pain.  Ask God to be the ballast that allows you to interact with single men in a way that shows you are not “up for anything.” Communicate clearly with your body language, frequency and depth of communication, and explicit responses that your time is not up for grabs. You are available for a certain general friendliness with all the men and women in the church, but you will not dive into frequent or intimate contact without a clear purpose.
4. Show respect to all men.When you are in conversation with a man, whether he is married or single, there are many ways you can demonstrate respect without making yourself available to him emotionally or physically. If you have a brother, you can imagine the kinds of voices, faces, and words that make him feel demeaned and disrespected, along with those that make him feel honored and esteemed: Asking for his opinion and listening to the answer. Laughing kindly at a joke instead of rolling your eyes. Waiting on him to make a decision in a small matter, which gives him a chance to practice something along the lines of leadership. Any man you encounter is someone to whom you can demonstrate a kind of respect.   Every man you see can be loved as an image-bearer of God your Father and, for believing men, Christ your brother. You want each of these men to thrive and mature. Though you are not responsible to them in the same ways you would be to your own father, brother, husband, or son, you can see all men as father-types or brother-types in the Lord, and you can be a warm sounding board to each man-in-process that you meet. A dignified woman knows how to show gentle and warm respect to all men, and should God call you to marriage, this will make it all the easier for you to show special respect, love, and submission to your particular husband.

Now, Then, and ForeverImagine yourself in the new heavens and new earth — unmarried, a woman but somehow not built for procreation, living in your body without curse or stain of sin — and imagine the many brothers and sisters you will be interacting with there. In all likelihood, this kind of honoring relationship between men and women will continue into eternity. And through the practices of restraint, modesty, dignity, and respect, a single woman in the church can seek to love single men well right now, as she anticipates that final day. Her single years can be a sweet aroma in the Lord’s nostrils, an offering that demonstrates faith in her Maker who is also her Husband (Isaiah 54:8). She will be preparing well for earthly marriage, should God call her to it. More significantly, she will be preparing well for the marriage supper of the Lamb (Revelation 16:9), the heaven where men and women are no longer given in marriage to each other (Matthew 22:30) but are presented together “in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing” (Ephesians 5:27) for eternal intimacy and fellowship with Christ.


 

                                                                              ‘Never Look Your Age’                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                  by  Stacy Reaoch
 
As I sat in the dermatologist’s office, I scanned the bottles of serums and ointments on display in the waiting room moisturizers, exfoliates, anti-aging serums, under-eye treatments. Although many people (like me) were probably there for typical skin scans or skin problems, it was clear that the dermatologist was also in the business of helping women look younger.

I peered into the mirror and noticed the “eleven lines” on my forehead. Surely there’s some sort of magic cream that can reduce their visibility, I thought. When I asked the dermatologist for a recommendation, her answer surprised me: “The only cure for those is Botox.” The eleven lines were here to stay. Our exchange made me wonder, Why do I want to erase the signs of aging on my face? Didn’t I earn these lines raising four kids, working hard, pouring myself out for others?

                                                                          Shiny (and Expensive) Lies

In our society, the pressure to appear youthful and fit comes from every corner. From the ads on TV, to the filtered images on social media, to the endless beauty products lining the shelves of stores, the message is clear: Do everything you can to turn back the hands of time — and never reveal your real age! But as Christian women, how are we supposed to think about aging? The Bible’s view of beauty and aging is an upside-down perspective compared to the world’s. Often, when we use cosmetic procedures to try to disguise our age, we’re buying into the message that our value lies in our appearance.  The willingness to endure painful, expensive procedures to enhance our appearance should make us step back and consider our motives. Are we fearful that our husband won’t find us attractive anymore, or that we’ll be single forever? Are we worried about others thinking well of us, getting the promotion, or being liked by the right crowd?  Certainly, it’s not a sin to want to take care of our bodies — we honor God by stewarding them well. But when we become consumed with looking younger or fitting into a smaller dress size, we make our bodies into idols.

                                                                      God’s Upside-Down Kingdom

While some of us may not want to admit how old we’re turning, the Bible celebrates the growing number of candles on your birthday cake. Often, as Job 12:12 reminds us, “wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” Then there’s Proverbs 16:31: “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.”  Few of us see gray hair as a crown. We think it’s something to hide!
Yet the Bible tells us to prize gray hairs as we might a long life devoted to following Jesus. God, through his word, wants to take our minds off our appearance (and all the fears that go with it) and give our attention to spiritual maturity instead. Suddenly, it becomes possible to celebrate becoming older as we delight to see how God has shaped us over many years.  “True beauty isn’t found on a magazine cover, but in our perfect God.”  The longer we’ve been on this earth, the more opportunities we’ve had to trust Jesus and to grow in wisdom. We’ve experienced more ups and downs; our perspective spans decades of life. God has used the trials we’ve walked through to shape who we are. Singleness, financial loss, raising children, chronic illness, bereavement — these trials have not been easy, but God has been present through each of them. Changes to our bodies can serve as a reminder of this.

Next time you look in the mirror and notice the ways your body has changed, try looking in a different way.Those stretch marks and loose skin around your abdomen — maybe they’re a reminder of the gift of children. Perhaps those dark circles under your eyes show the late nights you’ve spent counseling a troubled friend or anxious teen. That furrowed brow reveals the trials you’ve worked through, figuring out how to be a diligent friend or family member or worker. Those crow’s feet and laugh lines are sweet reminders of time spent delighting with others. In Christ, the physical signs of aging are not marks to despise, but signs of how God has worked through your circumstances to turn you into the person you are today. Seen this way, they can encourage you to trust him with your future, whatever your fears.
                                             
                                                                                              True Beauty


Our desires to attain flawless skin, a toned body, or the size we were twenty years ago point to the longing to be beautiful. We so easily measure ourselves by the standards of the world. Yet true beauty isn’t found on a magazine cover, but in our perfect God. Jesus suffered on the cross and died for our sins in the most beautiful, selfless act of love. When we place our faith in him, we are covered in his righteousness. Now, God sees us as beautiful — because Christ is. The beauty God esteems is displayed through character attributes like grace, mercy, steadfast love, and faithfulness. Instead of focusing our efforts on becoming more beautiful through make-up, salon visits, or workouts, may we seek to emulate Christ and embrace his beauty. As we do, we will be freed from enslavement to self. We will be like David, so taken with the Lord’s beauty that we forget our own troubles:

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
     that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
     all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
     and to inquire in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)

True beauty makes Christ visible through our acts of love. The truly beautiful use the body God gave to joyfully serve others in need, from making a meal for the neighbor who just had surgery, to speaking words of kindness and compassion to a friend walking through depression, to hugging the child that fell and scraped his knee. As Paul reminds us in Romans 10:15, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach good news!”Notice, there is no mention of the beauty of their faces or the strength of their muscles, but their feet — so often dirty and stinky — are called beautiful. They allow us to carry the good news of Jesus to others.
     
​                                                                                  Look to Eternity

Pursuing the Bible’s definition of beauty will not come easy in our day and age. But 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 reminds us of the fight to keep an eternal perspective: We do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. As believers in Christ, we are called to have a different mindset than the world’s. We’re called to look beyond what eyes can see and hands can touch, remembering that God longs for us to fix our eyes on him instead of on our own wrinkles and bodily changes. The weightiness of life’s trials and our fears of aging pale in comparison to the riches of eternity. Ladies, the gospel is good news for aging. Despite the added candles to our birthday cakes, we will grow more beautiful as we grow more like Christ.

                                                                                 THE JOY OF LIFE!
 
                                             By Dianne B Blakley.   Member northside church Conway AR
 
Joy can often be an elusive thing in this broken and fallen world for us in this life. When, at every turn, we’re greeted with death, destruction, greed and despair.  Yes, we will suffer, pain, loss, rejection, adversity and much more in this life. But we have Jesus who is our source of joy and restoration living within us. 
Rejoicing in hope, patience in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer. 
Rom 12.12
 
Joy is a crucial aspect of our lives as believers and is a deep-seated sense of peace and contentment that transcends any situation. This joy is rooted in the hope we have in Jesus and the assurance that He is eternal and in control of all things. To experience this joy, we must trust in God and rely on His power which will fill us with His hope and peace.    For Jesus said, “these things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:11
     
Instead of trying to fix things ourselves, faith requires us to surrender control of life and trust that He has a plan for us that is even better than we can imagine. 
      
The Holy Spirit is also a source of strength and encouragement in our lives. When we allow Him to work in and through us, He gives us the power to overcome trials, difficulties and experience true joy and peace that only God  can give us.   
 
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say, rejoice!  Philippians 4:4      
 

      by Audrey E. Baker.    (mt airy church of Christ)
 
Owls have physical abilities that we lack – they are able to rotate their heads almost 360 degrees, almost a full rotation, so they can see what is around and behind, as well as in front, above and below. Basically, they are equipped to observe everything in their surroundings.  

On a spiritual level, what might we observe or learn from having an owl’s eye view where we are able to look behind, downward, around, inward and upward?  The bible teaches about these as being alert, watching out, being vigilant, looking above, and many more descriptions.  Let us look at each.

What dangers might looking down bring?  Doing this could mean that we chose to regress and re-embrace sin.  We were washed clean from corruption when we were baptized.  The bible warns in 2Pet 2:20 that if we escape the corruption of the world through Christ but become entangled in the world again, we end up worse off than when we started.  The consequences of regressing include eternal separation from God.  Our focus should not be downward, where we re-embrace sin and unrighteousness.  We do not want to lose our hope of going to heaven.
What might looking behind us mean?  Some see past actions they are proud of, while others see immaturity, lack of wisdom, dumb mistakes, failures.  If looking behind means regret, Paul tells us: "forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead," Phil 3:13. We cannot fix, correct, or change the past, and being too absorbed in our failures will simply hold us back and make us wallow in regret.  Forget it and press forward to better focus on God now!  If looking behind means that we are second-guessing our service to God, this is very dangerous!  Jesus warns that no one who puts his hand to the plow then looks back is fit for the kingdom, Luke 9:62. Once we make that vow to serve God, we should never look back or shrink from our service but press forward to good works, for God does not delight in shrinkers.

What about looking to others around us?   Seeking guidance from those who are spiritually strong is advised.  Older women in the church are told to teach younger women.  Young Timothy was taught by his faithful mother and grandmother.  But often, many of us look outwards to friends and family members who have not committed to serving our God.  Their advice could be contrary to God’s laws and could jeopardize our souls.  We are warned: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? … Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” 1Cor 6:14,15.  We should not rely on spiritual advice from non-believers because “…you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”  1Pet 2:8. Let us seek advice from fellow Christians.

Should we ever look inward?  Pro 3:5 encourages us to trust in the Lord rather than trusting in our own understanding.  Jam 1:5 tells us to acquire wisdom from God.  So, if looking inward relies on God’s wisdom, this is advised.  But looking inwards can involve introspection, where we examine our hearts, thoughts, intentions and motives.  2Cor 13:5 encourages us to examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith, and Jam 1:23-25 reminds us to look at our reflection through God’s word and address what needs correcting. So yes, let us continue looking inward using God’s wisdom and God’s word as the standard of righteousness, so we can save our souls.

What do we gain from looking upwards? Often when situations in our lives seem challenging or overwhelming, we become alarmed, worry, overly concerned, angry, or depressed.  Emotions are only human, but we must train ourselves to not let these emotions rob us of our main goal – to serve God and attain the prize of eternal life in heaven.  When these challenges arise, we should seek and set our minds on things that are above where Christ is, rather than on things of this earth, Col 3:1-2. We see this example from the prophet Micah. Mic 7:7. To the Israelites Micah said:  “…He (God) will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”  And Paul encouraged Christians in the church with these words: “…God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  With these reassurances, the Christian should always prioritize looking to God and be grateful that He cares for us.
           
​ In our examination, we learned that looking downward is not an option as it means we have regressed and reembraced sin, and there is no salvation without Christ. Looking behind can hold us back and stunt our progress.  Looking around us can be valuable if we seek advice from those who hold to God’s word.  Looking inward is only advised if we are relying on wisdom we receive from God or if we are performing self-examination.  Looking upward should be our primary focus in our Christian walk.  Heb 12:1,2 advises us: “…since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”  Like watchful owls, let us tune our focus, ensuring it is directed on God, who we obey, worship and serve.  By doing this, we can safely peruse the world of sin and not be entangled or influenced by it.

                              by Abigail Dodds
​
​Friendship is a little bit like the offer of dessert after a wonderful meal. No one must eat it any more than the host must provide it — the unnecessary best part. So too with one’s friends. Friendship runs on the fuel of shared enjoyment, not by way of contract or debt or familial duty. Yet in friendless seasons, we feel at a loss — of companionship, comfort, sharpening, and edification.
The Scriptures show us just how strong the bonds of friendship can be, as with Jonathan and David: “He loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:3). We also see the pain of a friend not living up to the name, as with Job’s friends: “My friends scorn me; my eye pours out tears to God” (Job 16:20). We know “a friend loves at all times” and that the love of a friend even includes his willingness to injure us, for “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 17:17; 27:6).
Considering such a potent blessing, how can young women pursue godly friendships?
Pathways into Female FriendshipAt times of transition in life, we can find ourselves friendless, or at least in short supply of any tried-and-true friends nearby. One thing I know is that you don’t make new friends by sitting around wishing for them. The best way I’ve found to make friends is to get busy doing whatever God has given me to do that day and then to see whom God puts in my path.
Now, it should go without saying that our closest friends are Christian friends, not just anybody in proximity to us. We need to be around people at church, in our family, and in our friendships that honor Christ and his ways. When we walk with the wise, we become like them — when we hang out with fools, we will suffer for it (Proverbs 13:20). Friendship is a fellowship, and “what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
I often observe that women admire someone from a distance and then invite her to grab coffee. Trying to spark a friendship isn’t wrong, but it may result in disappointment when the woman doesn’t live up to your ideal. In my experience, the best way to get to know someone is to do something alongside her rather than starting off primarily one-on-one and face-to-face. Serving shoulder-to-shoulder with women from church is a great way to have unpressured conversations. Inviting a family over for dinner is another helpful way to get to know a potential friend, as you will see a fuller picture of what she’s like when surrounded by her husband and children.
I’m occasionally surprised when a woman whom I seemed to get along with well in a private conversation isn’t as compatible when with our families or a larger group of friends. But I’m also surprised when someone with whom I didn’t sense any great kinship at the start eventually becomes a dear friend in the context of our families and shared work. In other words, get to know potential friends in real life, not just by sitting with coffee away from the bustle of children or classes or home life or service or work. Female friendships shouldn’t mainly be siloed away from husbands, children, parents, or hands-on work. Rather, our real-life context is fertile soil for healthy friendships.
“We have the opportunity to give our friends a precious, Christlike gift: our constant love.”
The most rewarding friendships God has given me are secure enough to take our eyes off the friendship, lock arms, and take a hill together. Maybe the hill is a feat of hospitality that’s too big for just one person. Maybe it’s trying to solve some tough problem and praying together. Maybe the hill is finding the best way to educate our children in the Lord. Maybe it’s working on a writing project with a friend, providing critical feedback or receiving it. In these cases, friendship has moved beyond itself to productive fruitfulness that spills over to others.
Enemies of Female FriendshipsCertain weeds regularly find their way into the garden of friendship among women and can keep a friendship from becoming fruitful in the Lord. Female friendship grows in a particular kind of soil prone to particular weeds — envy, flattery, rivalry, pretense, deceit, complaining, and gossip, to name a few.
My first memory of an envious thought takes me back to twelve years old with a friend I loved (and love!) dearly. I envied her appearance and form. That envy sat in the background of my heart for several years, an unwelcome but persistent guest, before I realized I could do something about it. Likewise, I can recall rivalry — a competitive urge to be or do better than my friends — from an even earlier age.
What’s more, even as a grown woman over forty, I am still putting to death the occasional urge to gossip or complain or exaggerate when with friends. I thank God that he has given me a new heart that desires to put to death those sins and also desires to love my friends in truth. But the battle isn’t over yet. So, for the sake of our own souls and the good of our friends, we must relentlessly pull the harmful weeds out of our friendships.
We can start by developing the habit of dealing with those sinful tendencies lightning fast. If an envious thought springs up, kill it immediately by confessing it to God. Ask him to resurrect gratitude instead of envy, and then give thanks to him for the very quality you were about to envy in your friend. Thank him for her beautiful hair, or her good humor, or her lovely home. Then cheerfully move on — give it no more attention.
If you catch yourself shaping stories either by exaggeration or by withholding information to somehow protect your reputation or make others think better of you, then quickly, before another false word can come out of your mouth, walk it back. Tell your friend, “I’m sorry, that’s not right. Here’s what really happened.”
If you find yourself starting to gossip with a friend, do not succumb to the second temptation that would try to get out of it by acting like it never happened. Quickly deal with it on the spot. Say to your friend, “I’m sorry I was just gossiping. Would you forgive me?” Even if your friend also participated, take responsibility for your part, repent, and receive God’s forgiveness. Gossip and complaining provide cheap ways to intimacy. They make friends feel close and bonded. But in the end, they remain crumbling foundations for friendship.
Love Through Thick and ThinWhile Lewis is right that friendship is not a duty that can be demanded from one to another, we do have the opportunity to give our friends a precious, Christlike gift: our constant love. This love is not something we give on the basis of how much fun they are to be around on any given day, but on the basis of our Savior, Christ, who calls us his friends and loves us to the end (John 15:15).
Our friends will face deep valleys and high peaks over the course of their lives. If we are to love them in the valleys, we must not be selfish; if we are to love them on the peaks, we must not be envious. God can grant us real enjoyment in our friends in every season because he has done a wonderful thing in uniquely making them, calling them, gifting them, and letting us partake in their lives. It’s a privilege to call someone friend — and still more to be called it in return.