by Tamula Tucker
Westend Church of Christ
My Special Remarks Written for My Lovey on 10/25/2019 That I Read At his Funeral Titled: "God Granted Me That"
I asked God, four requests when he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2010. First that he "Remember Me" or at least how my touch would bring him comfort...God Granted Me That ! Second that he wouldn't get that Death Rattle or gurgle in the throat, when his body is dying and loses its ability to swallow. That Sound is so unnerving and intense ....God Granted Me That ! Third that I would be by his side to comfort him on his final Breath. That his home going would be special for me... God Granted Me That ! I decided to stay home from work last minute on Monday Oct 21, 2019 because my Sister Rita was having a Pet Test but I found out she had already gone with her husband. Then Mama said her chest was hurting and she was going to the Intermediate Care Center. I said I would drive her, but she insisted I stay Home with Tim A.K.A Lovey and she went alone. She found out that they thought she had pneumonia and sent her to the hospital where she was admitted. I had my Aide Christy there from 9-1pm on that Monday. I stepped out to handle some business about the last hour of her shift and I returned to find Lovey breathing heavy and called Hospice who began the morphine, but as the day progressed he got worst. No medicine they gave him seem to help and my main concern was for his comfort . I ended up calling Hospice again in the early hours of Tuesday Oct 22, 2019, telling them twice to increase his medicine. They added an additional med for him which produced a small change. On their second call, they instructed me to do meds every 2 hours as needed. I said its needed, cause his breathing is uncomfortable .
Now the Hospice Nurse told me he had about two weeks left, but I thought he can't go on like this with no food or water. So at 7am, I gave his meds and noticed his chest was beating slower and he had eyes open more, which had been closed mostly and now looked more relaxed. I made a video on my phone and gave him words of comfort. The Room was dim, with only a nite light that shone a Beautiful heart of colors on the ceiling. A serene and beautiful scene, just he and I. I started the video about 7:21am, stroking his face and hands and he seemed to be listening while lying on his side facing Me. I told him My Love for him and that the Angels were ready to carry him home. How I appreciated the love he shown and told me for 37 years and how he has made me feel beautiful, appreciated and wanted. I told him to tell love ones along with our Son, "hello" and to save me a seat next to him. etc. At 7:25am, I finished the video and before I could put the phone down, he made a deep gasp with open eyes, and I said to him, " Lovey you gone ,
Lovey you gone". I looked down at his still chest " My Precious lovey was Gone" !
I was crying but still showing my care for my beloved husband by closing his eyes, removing his pillows and stretching out his body and folding his hands to help with rigor mortis . I made numerous calls : to Kim our daughter, my two aides, some family and lastly Hospice....God Granted Me That !
What an Awesome God we Serve! My last Request was to give me Strength to endure his passing and be OK but knowing he would always be a part of me and irreplaceable. I prayed don't let him suffer long and it has only been in the last three months that I have experienced a huge decline. Even though he couldn't talk for quite a while, he still had a few words or funny things he would say or do on his good days. I took him everywhere in his wheelchair after he couldn't walk anymore because he broke his hip a second time. His spirit stood high and he never complained.
He once said,' Getting old wasn't for sissys' ! I replied, " For Better or Worst and Sickness and in health....I do" and did. But God gets all the glory, because He carried me through it all. Thank You Lord !
Tim and Tam Forever