Many white people are puzzled about black people calling each other the "N" word and then getting mad when a white person uses the same word. No one should be using the "N" word. A black guy shouldn't be calling another black guy that word and neither should a white guy or any other race, call a black guy the word.
And if a black guy uses it to address blacks; why should he get upset when a white man uses it? Such is ridiculous; for the meaning is the same regardless who uses it. Don't use the word at all! It is degrading and was invented to trash people and make them feel inhuman. Throw the word in the garbage can and let the trucks carry it away. Speak what is edifying, and if you can't speak words of encouragement; don't speak at all (Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 4:6). Jesus said our words will justify or condemn us on the Day of Judgment (Matthew 12:34-37).
Hope to hear from you or see you at the services.